


My Words Are For Only You, My Love

by TheMadFicster



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 19:08:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7118863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMadFicster/pseuds/TheMadFicster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec writes poetry, he has for years. He keeps this a secret from everyone in his life, it's his private escape. When Magnus enters his life, his poetry becomes a greater part of him still he keeps it hidden. However when circumstances have Alec apart from his love he must share this secret to let Magnus know how much he needs his love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Words Are For Only You, My Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is based in Shadowhunters TV-Verse. Set sometime in the future of the show after Valentine has been defeated.
> 
> While trying to outline and work on previously started works, my muse decided to give me this instead. I knew in a matter of seconds I had to write it. Alec wouldn't let me let this go, he had to have his point made to his love. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Unbetaed, all mistakes are mine
> 
> P.S. Yes the poem is an original (mine)

Alec liked to write poetry. It wasn’t something he thought he was very good at. It wasn’t something he particularly wanted anyone to know about or wanted to share with anyone. It was his private little heaven that no one really knew about, and he preferred to keep it that way.

Growing up the way he had, Alec was always forced to put Shadowhunter training above all else. There was no room for anything remotely artistic or anything that sparked imagination. If it wasn’t useful in the Shadow world, it wasn’t useful to the Clave.

Still this was something that Alec would find himself doing from time to time. If his life was stressing him out, or he was feeling confused, scared, vulnerable; he would write his feelings into poems. Alec was always a man who respected and appreciated great writing in fact everyone knew of his love for books; so in his mind his writing was just an extension of his passion for the written word. 

He never really had need to purposefully use this hidden talent of his before, and therefore he remained unexposed. That was until now. Now Alec had the urge to write poetry all the time, and he did. 

From the moment Magnus entered his life, Alec’s poetry took on an entirely new feel. There was purpose, and meaning in each word. Even before Alec came out so spectacularly at his own wedding. Even before Alec so bravely reached for something he wanted and took it unapologetically by kissing Magnus. Even before they began their relationship Alec’s poems about Magnus just simmered with a low heat in each word he used. 

Alec Lightwood was feeling something for a man he was extremely attracted to. And this man was no ordinary man - no - he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn. An enigmatic creature of great power and respect, whose reputation was known throughout the shadow world. Just the utterance of Magnus’ name made many squirm in both lust and fear. Alec had begun to lean more towards the former whenever he heard Magnus’ name. 

_Why?_

Because the warlock’s reputation did not do him justice. Magnus Bane was not just handsome, he was incredibly gorgeous. God-like in Alec’s eyes, and oddly enough, at least to Alec it was odd, Magnus was attracted to him as well. 

At first the writings were about confusion of Alec’s feelings for Magnus; but still there was a strange underlying tone in each stanza that left him tingling all over as he let the words flow from inside him.

As their cat and mouse game played out and the dynamics of their relationship changed, so too did the feel of Alec’s poetry about Magnus. Each meeting, each moment made him feel something deeper. 

In retrospect, Alec now knew that his words, his gift to himself were partly his guide to discovering his path. The path that led him out of darkness and self denial, and into the light of Magnus’ waiting arms, and lips.

* * *

With time Alec’s writing has evolved yet again. He and Magnus had been together for awhile and it showed. There was a light and tenderness in each pen stroke, the words practically danced off the page in a grand sweeping gesture; like the way Magnus moved through a room. 

Alec couldn’t help but pour his heart into each word, his breathe. Magnus brought out the best in him, he deserved reverence. Each one of Alec’s words was about his Magnus and mere words did not do the warlock justice. Each word needed to represent more. 

And so Alec began to write about Magnus as if they were making love, the way the touches lit his skin from underneath. The way the fire was stoked in his belly with each brush of Magnus’ lips. How his breath was stolen with the sighs and gasps of desire and strain as they pressed their bodies close together. Each word of each poem was an ode to their love as expressed through their lovemaking.

Three volumes. There were now three volumes just devoted to poems about Magnus and it had only been a little over a year. There was another new volume as well, full of the dark moments when Jace was gone with Valentine and the war had begun. When they found Jace, and Alec and his parabatai had to reforge their nearly broken bond. The war itself, the sorrow of those souls lost. 

But Alec would not allow those poems to touch his bright ray of light. Those poems were not allowed near his words about Magnus. His Magnus, his love. No, these volumes were his most prized possessions outside of the heart Magnus had given him to hold. 

“Hold onto my heart, love”, Magnus had said. “It is yours to protect Alexander the defender, so guard it well. I trust you forever and always”. 

Those words alone had inspired a thousand words of pure and glowing poetry. It was one of the poems Alec was most proud of. A few of the others marking equally memorable moments in their relationship. Like the first time they made love, that alone sent Alec into a spiral of emotions that only let up when over three thousand words left his pen tip. 

* * *

It was only now after all this time, nearly a year and a half, that Alec had decided to let Magnus into his world. In truth he knew Magnus had some sort of idea that Alec was doing more than merely scribbling in his journals. 

Still Magnus never pushed to know what held his Shadowhunter’s attentions so often. Alec knew everything was fine because he saw Magnus was just content in watching his face as he wrote. It made Magnus extremely happy to see Alec so peaceful and so he knew his warlock need not know what he was writing, as long as it made him smile. 

Now though it was time, there was no better way for Alec to express his feelings. His beloved Magnus, and himself were separated by over four thousand miles, for over four weeks. Four weeks, three days, seven hours, twenty eight minutes and three seconds to be exact. It was enough to drive him mad. 

Alec had been called away on special assignment to the Lisbon Institute with Lydia. They were helping to ease the transitions of interactions between Shadowhunters and Downworlders as peace treaties and new accords between the two groups were being initiated worldwide. 

Magnus was called in to do similar duty with some troublesome warlocks in Brazil. They were not easily appeased or impressed with the Shadowhunters even after the war. It was Magnus’ job to bring some sort of agreement to be civil, and perhaps persuade them to be more involved with Downworlder and Shadowhunter relations. 

Alec was pining for the touch of his lover. Both Magnus and Alec made sure they spoke to each other daily. Each making time for the other at least for a few words via text, phone or video chat. But it was never enough. 

Alec was a always a very physical being, he often showed rather than spoke his emotions and feelings. Only in his journals, through his poetry was he able to express himself easily with words. He had known the deep level of physicality in his character, but he didn’t know it would affect him like this. Being apart from his lover for so long at such a great distance made him discover a deep physical pain that he didn’t quite understand.

Alec was driven by touch, he needed Magnus. With each passing day the need grew worse. On more than one occasion Alec had lost it completely and randomly initiated phone sex or video sex prompting Magnus, who was often times in the middle of something very important, to excuse himself and help his lover come down. 

“I’ve got you my darling Alexander”, Magnus would whisper. “I am with you, even when I am not with you. I am holding you, I am touching you. I am loving you. I am making love to you”.

Magnus was so good to Alec, he understood his Shadowhunter, and even at the most inconvenient of times, Magnus took care of his lover. Alec was grateful, and it was things like these that made him want Magnus to understand just how grateful he felt to have Magnus in his life.

That night - early evening for Magnus - after spectacular video sex, and an hour of gooey love sick faces and words. Magnus ended the chat to let Alec get some sleep. However Alec could not sleep. Yes his body was physically sated, but his mind and his heart were not. 

Alec needed his love to understand how physically painful it was for him to be away from Magnus. He wanted his boyfriend to know the way he ached just for soft fingers against his cheek. The cool brush of blue sparks against warm flesh innocent but so very desired.

So Alec wrote. For the first time ever he wrote with the very real intention of sending this for someone very specific to see, and read. Hunched over the desk in the quiet of the small room he was using, just the dim desk lamp lighting the night, Alec wrote.

_My Magnus. My beloved._

_Black, the night sky it looks soft_  
_but I would not know_  
_for I can not touch it_  
_nor do I long to._

 _I do not look to the night sky for soft black_  
_I need but look at you_  
_Fingers long to run through soft black hair_  
_so welcome, so wanted._

 _Light of the stars that prick the dark sky_  
_but I do not see them_  
_I do not care to see them_  
_I do not long for their light._

_I do not need to look at the stars_  
_I need but look at your eyes, your real eyes._  
_Light shining down at me with great love_  
_so bright, so desired._

 _Quiet of night blankets the world_  
_but I don’t hear the silence_  
_The silence will not fill me_  
_nor do I want it to_

 _I do not want the quiet of night_  
_I want your voice, your gasps, your moans_  
_the sound of us ringing in my ears_  
_so needed, so desperately necessary._

 _Rough sheets they scratch at my skin_  
_but I do not truly feel it_  
_The sheets will not comfort me_  
_nor will they ever_

 _I do not desire the comfort of sheets_  
_I desire your skin against mine_  
_warmth over me, below me, inside me_  
_so hungry, so wished for._

_I need you my love. I need to feel you again. You do not know what you do to me, and what being away from you does to my soul. I could not tell you easily, that gift is not mine. This is my only way of making sure you understand. Magnus my love, I lust for you, I pine for you, I need you so desperately here with me. My love you are mine, I am yours and without you I am so very lost. Come find me my love._

_Forever your darling, Alexander._

* * *

Alec was tying up his boots, as he glanced out the window. The dark storm clouds were forming overhead, and he knew it was going to be another rainy day. It seemed the weather pattern was following his mood, he missed his warlock. 

It didn’t rain too often in Lisbon, only about one hundred days in a full year give or take, but this looked to be like it was going to be day number three in a row of clouds and showers. Resigning himself to the gloominess of the day, Alec stood from his bed to grab for his jacket. Suddenly his door flew open and there he stood in all his glory, Magnus looking windswept and absolutely gorgeous. 

The breath was taken from Alec’s chest at the abrupt appearance of his lover. He didn’t care how, or why, all Alec cared about was that fact that the love of his life, the man he desperately was pining for was now within arms reach. 

“Magnus”, his voice broke. 

In one swift stride of his long legs he closed the space between them crashing his lips onto his lover’s with such ferocity that he had to grasp Magnus’ upper arms to hold him upright. 

Softening the kiss, Alec captured Magnus’ lower lip in his, sucking and kissing it gently before breaking and showing the same attention to his top lip. 

“Magnus”, he whimpered again. “You’re here”.

Alec’s tone was not doing much to mask the excitement but also the pain he had been holding onto.

“I’m here, love”, Magnus whispered through kisses. 

“I missed you so much”, Alec nearly cried hugging Magnus tight to him.

“I know darling”, Magnus started but then pulled back so Alec could see his face which was showing great awe. There were tears pooling in the corner of Magnus’ eyes.

“Love, what’s wrong?”, Alec asked worried

“Your letter, your poem. I - I just got it today, and I had to come to you. Alexander you are incredible, you never cease to amaze me. I did not know this is what you were doing when you were writing in those journals of yours”

Alec beamed with pride as he brushed his thumbs gently beneath Magnus’s eyes to wipe at the tears that had escaped. Of course Alec’s blush found its way onto his cheeks but he did not care. 

“Still so bashful”, Magnus teased. “You write these words of desperate longing for me, these beautiful, needy words that breathed your want into my ears. These words that had me hearing your moans and whimpers as I made you come undone and still you blush when complimented. Oh my, Alexander I adore you so”.

This just caused the heat to rise up Alec’s cheeks and spread to his ears. 

“You’re here”, he whispered again as if he didn’t believe it.

“I’m here”, Magnus reassured. 

“Need you”, Alec breathed against Magnus’ lips.

“I need you too , my darling”, Magnus answered as he withdrew from Alec’s hold only long enough to close the door behind him, lock it and then seal it with a blast of sparkling blue magic, a smirk playing on his lips.

* * *

Alec leaned down to kiss his lover gently, again showing each lip attention. Soft brushes and licks becoming deeper and more meaningful. Pressing himself as close to Magnus as humanly possible he licked with the flat of his tongue insistently at the crease of Magnus’ plush lips until the warlock opened to him eagerly. 

Slow tortured kisses, taking their time letting the heat build between their bodies. Neither Magnus or Alec cared about time in that moment. Time was standing still for them. They did not care about meetings and deadlines, treaties, and accords. It was just them in their world of passion. Alec was not going to rush, he was going to treasure every second with his boyfriend and he knew Magnus was feeling the same. 

Reverent hands moving calmly to unbutton and remove clothing until they are left with nothing between them. Quiet moments of just breathing and panting in each other’s embrace, lips and tongues brushing lightly against fevered skin as they made their way to lay together in bed.

Nips of teeth at already overheated skin making it feel blistering at the contact spurring them on. Kissing and nibbling each other in places that made the other man shiver in pure exquisite ecstasy. 

“My love”, Alec said softly into Magnus warm thighs. 

“Yes yours, only yours”, Magnus purred. 

The warlock’s head was thrashing against the rough sheets. His hair now completely undone from its previously perfect coif, due to fingers running through it and light tugging, was now fanning above him slightly.

Alec couldn’t help but gasp at the sight. His warlock, cat eyes alight with hunger, skin hot and dripping with sweat, little fading splotches of red from Alec’s nips and the scratch of his facial hair spread all over Magnus' neck chest and thighs, and a halo of messy black hair above him. He was half demon but in that moment Magnus was Alec’s angel. 

Magnus had to smile because Alec could only guess he looked just as incredible to Magnus in that moment. He knew he was wearing many a faded pink mark as well from that sexy goatee and the light nips of Magnus' teeth that were soothed by kisses. 

Long fingers began to touch sensitive skin. Stroking, pumping - lips, mouths, tongues, hands. They left no where untouched on each other. They were like hungry and thirsty men who had been denied food and water for a year. 

And so it went on like this, the press of bodies, the dance of mouths and hands on skin. Sweat, pre-come, saliva and the lube that Magnus had magicked to the bed from the nightstand in a moment when he could actually think properly, they were a hot dripping mess of need. Each man wanting to drive the other insane with passion, each man succeeding brilliantly.

This dance of desire was peaking. 

“Please”, Magnus begged first. 

Alec could do nothing but give his lover what he needed, he would never deny him. The near hours of foreplay sucking and fingering had them both ready for whatever was next. 

“I’ll take care of you, my love”, Alec vowed. 

Fingers clasped together his right hand in Magnus’ pressed into the mattress beside them he used his left hand to lube himself more and guide himself inside his lover. Heat engulfed the head of his cock and tight muscles fighting the intrusion. Magnus’ eyes became half lidded as he heaved a sigh. His golden eyes finding Alec’s beautiful hazel eyes that were loving him so obviously. 

Alec’s eyes were telling Magnus everything it was never easy for him to say but was evidently easy for him to express in writing. Alec’s eyes were reciting the poem for him line for line as he moved forward finally joined with his love. 

Bringing his left hand up to cup Magnus’ jaw he let the pad of his thumb run along Magnus’ kiss swollen bottom lip. 

“I love you Magnus”.

“I love you, Alexander”

Their eyes remained locked as Alec brought his hips back slowly only to snap them forward again in a soft cadence. Magnus opened his thighs further to let Alec sink closer into his body before bringing his calves up to brush along Alec’s sides. 

Body against body, pressing, pushing, pumping. Alec’s thick cock splitting Magnus’ open and breaking him apart body and soul in the sweetest and most tender way ever. How was it possible Magnus did not care. 

Alec could feel Magnus shaking underneath him. He brought his lips to Magnus kissing him while his hand slid down his lover’s thigh to hitch it up over his elbow. 

Magnus’ head slammed back into the mattress hard and a litany of curses mixed with Alec’s name left his mouth. This new angle had Alec so deep inside him that even though they continued to fuck sweetly they were both lost to feeling.

“Fuuuuuck”, it was a high whine “Alexan-d-d - fuck. Yes! Alec, love you, you feel so good.”

Alec loved hearing the praises of his sex-drunk lover. It always made Alec feel incredible to know that the man in his arms, the much in demand High Warlock of Brooklyn, would get so lost to the world while making love with him, Alec Lightwood. It was omething he originally feared would only affect him so intensely when Magnus took him to ecstasy. But now he knew Magnus also loved the way Alec could make him feel. 

In fact Magnus had often teased that they were both cock-whipped. And even though it slightly embarrassed him, it also made Alec feel oddly proud. 

Magnus was thrashing underneath Alec now, and it was time to fuck his lover properly, he knew what Magnus needed, because it was what he needed. 

Finally he thrust hard and sure into his lover. Deep long strokes that left them both shaking and panting. Magnus keened and Alec grunted loudly. Alec knew he had been stroking Magnus’ prostate for some time with his slow thrusts but now he was fucking into his beautiful love with purpose. 

Feeling the tightness in his lower belly Alec let his hand gently brush along Magnus sensitive cock and stroked it lightly a few times spreading the pre-come and sweat all over the long shaft. Timing the movement of his hips with the pumping of his fist perfectly Alec soon had them both flying so high they were near touching that black soft sky from Alec’s poem.

“Alexander”, Magnus screamed, his voice almost gone.

Thick hot ropes of come shot out coating Magnus’ chest and and abdominal muscles. The first spurt came with so much force it hit his neck and Alec bent to greedily lap at it causing Magnus to groan.

With just a few more snaps of his hips Alec came hard into his boyfriend, his cock pumping through his orgasm causing it to leak everywhere onto the sheets beneath them. The heat of his release making Magnus sigh in pleasure as the warlock’s spent dick jumped at the feel of his lover’s come inside him. 

Alec’s arms gave and he collapsed onto Magnus in a sweaty, sticky mess. Again they did not care. They held onto each other and with a tired snap of fingers, blue sparks and a wave of Magnus’ hands they were both clean and the sheets beneath them were dry once more. 

Hours, it felt like hours they just lay there holding, hugging, letting fingers glide along cooling skin. They didn’t know how long it took them to come down. 

“I’m so sorry, darling”, Magnus broke the silence sounding very apologetic but absolutely adorable. 

Alec popped his head up to give him a quizzical brow.

“About what, my love? That was amazing”.

Magnus of course smiled at his dear Shadowhunter. 

“While I do not disagree, it was absolute perfection. However I do remember you saying _you_ needed me, and _I_ , for lack of a better word, hijacked your moment. I couldn’t help it my darling Alexander. I was yearning for you just as much as you were for me. I couldn’t help but beg to have you inside of me. I’m sorry, love”.

Alec chuckled and hovered over Magnus to kiss his sweet warlock on the tip of his nose.

“No need to be sorry at all. I just needed _you_ , I didn’t care _how_ as long as I had you”.

Magnus raised his head to press a slow but deep kiss to the swollen lips of his gorgeous boyfriend. When he broke the kiss there was a smile on Magnus’ face.

“May I make it up to you?”, Magnus purred his fingers running down Alec’s back

“Yes Magnus, of course. Um”, Alec bit his lip and flushed a bit. “I-I’d like that very much, b-but uh can you give me like twenty minutes”. 

He hid his face in the safe haven of Magnus neck pressing a kiss there on a particularly red spot that had yet to fade away almost as if to apologize for perhaps nibbling too hard.

Magnus couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips. Alec Lightwood, such a romantic on paper. A beautiful poet, was still sometimes a blushing stuttering mess around his boyfriend, Magnus Bane.

Alec laid back down and Magnus curled into his side, his head resting above Alec’s beating heart. 

“Alexander?”

“Yes, love?”

“May I make a request of you?”

“Always”

“Write me more poetry?”, the great warlock sounded slightly shy in that moment.

Alec’s heart swelled at the sweet and humble request. He shifted so that Magnus could see his face and gave a huge grin.

“Magnus, I have three volumes of poetry devoted to you and only you. If you want them you are welcome to them. And I promise you this, I will never stop writing for you”.

Magnus sputtered, tears threatening to spill once more. He was shocked to say the least. All those journals he’d seen Alec poring over night and day, they were for him. Magnus felt so extremely special in that moment, and it was all due to the hazel eyed, raven haired, strong and sweet Shadowhunter in his arms.

“Oh Alexander, how I love you”.

“I love you too, Magnus”.

“Darling?”

“Yes?”

“It’s been twenty two minutes”, Magnus purred and Alec laughed.

“So it has”.


End file.
